I'm a long time admirer of TS/TV/TG/CD's. When I was younger (teens), I experienced and explored the gay lifestyle. I had a few experiences with men who did not cross-dress. I met a couple of older men who would cross-dress and even dressed me. I loved the feeling I had when I was dressed. When I reached my late teens I drifted away from the gay lifestyle and returned to heterosexual relationships. I love the shape and feel of a women, but often fantasized about the gay lifestyle I left behind. I had a few additional experiences with men in my early 20's but it wasn't the same. I'm not attracted to the masculine form. I would dream of being with a women but one who had the genitals of a man. I was very confused! I watched an HBO show with Brandy Scott and Kelly Michaels. I became aroused. I realized I was attracted to someone with the look and feel of a women but had male genitals. I struggled with my feelings for a long time. I married but still fantasized about transsexuals. I tried to find extramarital affairs but I live in a State (Arkansas) that has few TS/TG/CD people. I'm looking to meet and develop a NSA friendship and/or sexual relationship with a special woman.